What’s Actually Going on Downtown

Fri, Aug 10, 2007 | Jared Woodard

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8/10/07 DJIA

What a nice, flat day to end the week! You know that when a day where the Dow only closes down 31 is a reason for celebration, we’re definitely in a dicey environment. We spent the whole day uptown in various capacities, including a nice lunch break – get this – out of doors. Anyway, here’s something funny to start your weekend that explains what’s really been going on downtown these past few weeks years:

Investment Dealers are excited to announce the newest structured finance product – Constant Obligation Leveraged Originated Structured Oscillating Money Bridged Asset Guarantees, or COLOSTOMY BAGS. Designed to accommodate the most sophisticated investment strategies, Colostomy Bags contain the equity tranches of Structured High Interest Taxable Derivatives, or SHIT, and are leveraged an infinite amount of times through the innovative use of derivatives. (More…)

[Via the unfailingly cogent Barry Ritholtz]


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Jared Woodard specializes in trading volatility as an asset class. With over a decade of experience trading options and other volatility products ... Read More

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